Monday February 24th. Finally I have made it, 12 weeks post op today, and I do believe I am seeing the light. If I had written this post on Friday, I would be saying something completely different. If there is one thing I have learned through this it is how just a few hours can make a difference in how you feel.
This last 3 weeks (So week 9-12) have been pretty dark. I lost my positivity that I had during my initial post op period and spent a fair old time crying and feeling sorry for myself. I think I had a right to feel sorry for myself though so I wont be to hard myself.
It has all been such hard work, getting off the 2 crutches and learning to walk again has pretty much been one of the toughest things I have ever done. I have ached all over, I have been so mentally and physically tired that I almost fell asleep waiting at a set of traffic lights in my car last week. I have really had to push myself with every inch of determination I could find. From getting up the morning to going to bed at night. The last two weeks I have been trying to get back to normality (still on one crutch) by starting back work (I run a pet care franchise), looking after our elderly pony, going food shopping and doing the house work. I found I was planning my days down to the minute almost, setting out what I would do in a day in relation to the amount of mental and physical energy required. Any deviation in my plans would throw me. I wasn't enjoying anything I was doing.
By Friday just gone I was pretty much at my lowest ever, not helped by a visit to my disinterested GP, but I shall post separately about that. My back was killing me, my op hip was pinching, my non op hip was burning and quite honestly I was beginning to think I had made a big mistake. I was starting doubt my surgeon even, whom up until then I had hailed as my hero! I had pretty much decided that all this was a waste of time and money, a wild goose chase and that I was never going to be pain free, that fixing my hip would never fix my back.
But enough of my woe
Throughout last week I have been doing my Physio home work and forcing my body to walk correctly, 20 steps at a time, whilst I was walking a dog or walking about at home. It really hurt my hip flexors and hamstrings, and I was back to codeine and ice at night.
Then, when I woke up on Saturday morning, I got up, walked across the bedroom to look out of the window before realising I had just done that without a limp! I walked around the bedroom some more, yup. No limp, and not that slow either!!
So on Saturday we had family to visit and we all caught the coastal rider bus into Weston Super Mare, I even got up stairs with my one crutch. We walked though town to what I do believe to be one of the best fish & chip restaurant in the UK. I sat on the most uncomfortable wooden chair throughout, then we walked along the pier and back before catching the bus home. Now it wasn't easy, but It did not hurt. My back felt good, my op hip was not painful, just very tired by the end of it all.
Sunday morning came and I expected to be very stiff and sore from all the walking yesterday but I wasn't, I got up, went downstairs, walked around the kitchen and living room with no crutch all without a limp! It felt so good to be walking "level" again, not twisted or bent over, and my back really appreciated it. Now my limp did return, as after even short time walking with no limp, my leg muscles obviously got tired, but I still think it is fantastic progress and I can actually begin to imagine that this week I might even manage to walk outside, in public with no crutch and not look like cripple.
I rode my horse on Sunday again, for the first time since the head spinning escapade at 7 weeks. This time it was much easier to get on, my leg can now swing up a lot higher, but I am still grateful I have such a placid horse who doesn't mind me scrambling around on him! Once in the saddle, I felt more comfortable than last time but still pretty ineffective. I could not get my op leg in the right position to put my foot in the stirrup. My horse is western trained and so very sensitive to even the lightest cue. Whilst my husband still had us on the lead rein, I was able to ask Charlie to walk on, turn left and right and stop through almost invisible squeezes of my lower leg, shift in weight, neck rein and voice commands. I rode for a total of 5 minutes. Any longer than that and I think my hip flexors would have started to spasm. So whilst I think I am long way off from a proper ride, I can now see that will be able to do this again. I have arranged that my lady who is currently exercising Charlie for me will continue to do so for the next 2 weeks, and then I shall take over his exercise sessions again. To begin with it will all be about me and my confidence I know, but Charlie and I have a good bond and I know he will look after me. I don't expect I will ride much to start with but we do a lot of stuff in hand on the ground so we have plenty to do. Afterwards, I had the tightness back in my groin, but that is something anyone that hasn't ridden for a while will get. My op hip felt a lot better that my non op hip, which benefited from ice and codeine that evening.
No hydrotherapy tonight as the pool has a leak, and I cannot make the session next Monday due my Nans funeral, so I will need to rearrange that. With hydro, I want to get the point where I can swim again, and then I shall stop going there and start going to our local swimming pool. I want to start swimming lengths to burn of the stone and a half of weight I have gained since last yea, when the only calorie burning exercise I could do was walking. I have land physio with Donna this Wednesday, I am looking forward to that this time as hopefully I will be able to show her my normal walking!
So there we go, finally a positive post from me. I have no doubt I am going to have my fair share of down times in the coming weeks, but for now, I am going to try and enjoy this positive feeling whilst it lasts. Thanks for reading.
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