2013

2013 was not unlucky for us, though it was probably one of the most stressful years of my life. As well as battling with my continued chronic back and hip pain, we also moved house. We exchanged contracts on the 31^st May 2013 and so began the mammoth task of moving out of our rented house and into our new home by the end of June. They say moving house is on life's most stressful activities. When you also have 3 cats, a dog, chickens, rabbits and small pony to move, whilst doing it all through the fog of chronic pain, the stress if magnified. I think the only thing that got us through it was the fact we were moving to pretty much our dream home , right on the beach front. It is our forever home.

Although we did use a removals company for the house contents, we move all our outside things ourselves. That included the contents  of my husbands workshop, a wooden double stable, 2 sheds, a green house and their contents. It was exhausting. I was unable to help my husband with any heavy lifting and so he was more exhausted than I was. My back held out until mid June. I was redecorating our bedroom and  had managed OK with the help from my friend. Then, when I was sat in an awkward position on the floor painting the skirting board, it went into a major spasm. I managed to get down stairs into the garden where Paul was working before it locked up completely. I  took some codeine & diazepam  and lay there on my front in the garden for about an hour, until my back relaxed a bit and I could stand up. That  put an end to any painting or decorating and after a few days “rest” – which also meant cancelling my dog walk jobs, I was relegated to cups of tea making only. It was completely and utterly depressing. This  was before I had been to see Mr F to get my proper diagnosis and if nothing else, it cemented my decision that I couldn't go on with life like that and had to go and see him at the end of the summer, when we would actually have time and mental capacity to tackle it.

After I had been to Mr W in February and he had told me stop horse riding, I decided that I would do quite the opposite. I felt like My life was ticking away not doing the things I loved. I had put a pause on horse riding because Paul was worried that if I did have labral tear in my hip, I could be making it worse. We had placed my horse into full livery in January because we knew I could no longer care for him. It was either that or sell him. And selling  my Charlie Brown was not something that would make me happy. After Mr W dismissed my hip symptoms as bieng related to my back, I decided to ignore his advice and get back to riding my horse whether it hurt on not.  Through 2013, depending on my pain levels,  I alternated between ground  work with Charlie, going for a walk with him like a dog on the end of a lead rope and gentle riding, walk and trot only. This proved beneficial to both of us and we actually developed a better bond, We began to understand each other better because we were doing things slower I believe he knew I was in pain and looked after me. We went out on a few rides on our local bridle paths (once we had conquered crossing the very high bridge over the M5 motorwar!) . It was fabulous to get out into what felt like the middle of nowhere on our own and forget about all the stress of work, trying to get a diagnosis and house moving. I would be in a fair amount of pain when we got back to the stables, but I really didn’t care. My horse and I were having fun at last and it a great anti depressant for me.  

View from a top my horse at the top of a nearby hill.

 

My last ride on him was 4 days before surgery and I felt both really pleased with how far we had come that year, and sad because I didn't know when I would be able to ride again. A part of me was scared that  I would never be able to ride again. The yard owner was all set to ride Charlie for me for the next 3 months or so. So I said good bye to him the day before my surgery not knowing when I see him again.

My physio would have liked me to have undergone an extensive “pre hab” regime prior to surgery to get my leg muscles and core as strong as possible to help with post op rehab. But it was never going to happen. My back and hip were intolerant to any repetitive exercise other than a handful of gentle Pilate's exercises or walking. I had a few regular dog walks at work. I walked a poodle 5 days a week for half an hour, a labradoodle 3 days a week for an hour, a Golden Retriever twice a week for 45 minutes and  a German shepherd cross once a week for 45 minutes. These dog walks became my exercise and were the thing that kept me going through 2013. There were many times when I struggled on these walks, I was careful to choose only flat walking locations, and new all the benches on the routes. Some days I would walk really slow. The poodle in particular was very knowing. He was a big powerful dog but I could see him modifying his pace to walk at my slow speed. Four weeks before surgery I started to use a walking pole, It really helped and I wished I had started using it earlier.  I had managed to organise a someome to take my dog walks on for me whilst I was on crutches, and hoped I would be able to start back walking them in March. I spent a lot of time with all 4 of the dogs, walking miles with them. Sitting on bench's with them whilst I rested. They were a very good alternative to any other pre- hab I could have done.

 

Here some picture of the 3 dogs I spent a lot time with walking in 2013, on thour last walks before my op

 

At the start of November I made a giant to do list in preparation for life after surgery, so much needed organising. There were 3 titles: Home, work, Animals. If it wasn’t on the list, it didn’t get done. Everything was on there, from stocking up on animal feed to arranging the mobility equipment I would need after surgery. It was quite a relief to finally tick the last item off the day before surgery: “Pack bag for hospital”