Trying To Rember When I Didn't Have a Bad Back

One thing I often find  myself trying to do is think back to time when I did not have back pain. It is quite difficult and for some reason I find I think of it terms if what boyfriend I had at the time! I don’t know why, I just do. I guess that is perhaps how I have sectioned my adult life.

In September 2000 I went to agricultural College in Cornwall to start a HND in Horse Studies. Part of the course involved being on a duty Rota for caring for the college horses. I can remember not having a bad back when I started doing that. It was hard work, we would be assigned 2 or 3 horses each for the week and we would be responsible for all their care, alongside our classroom studies and general student life.  Then all that went  a bit a wrong when I fell of a horse.  The horse belonged to the stables head girl and I remember finding out after that she had been feeding  him horse race horse cubes because she thought it would be funny to see someone trying to control him if he went wild. The horse was called Star. He really was a sweet pony and it wasn't his fault.  I can’t really remember what happened but I can remember hitting the deck in the middle of the indoor school , left side down.

For a long time I blamed my bad back on that accident. That was where I used begin the story when ever I was asked. I didn’t break anything, didn’t go the doctors. I probably should have but when you are 19 you think you are invincible. I can remember having a very stiff neck for a week or two afterwards, and struggled to do my horse duties. I can remember one day in particular I was had been assigned to the Riding for the Disabled Association block. The 4 horses in there were all lovely and easy to care for . It was out of the way a bit and it  was possible to hide for a while in there. I can remember  sitting at the back of one the ponies stables crying because my neck and back and were so stiff.

At that time, I was with David. I split up with him in 2001. I can’t really remember a bad back being much of issue between that fall  from Star and when David & I  split up in 2001. In 2002 I got together with Paul, and moved to a different agricultural  college to begin my Degree in Equine Science. I think it was then that I first started to notice my back. I had a friend called Ellie and she had a really bad back. She used to really struggle with sitting on the bench/desks in the lecture theatre. Her lower back used to lock up and she would find it difficult to stand. I sometimes wonder about Ellie, where she is on her back pain journey now.

Anyway, I noticed I also began to have a bad back, almost as if it was coming down in sympathy for Ellies. But it was never as bad as hers. It was worst when sitting for long periods, my lower back would go quite numb and cold/tingly.  It came and went. It wasn’t chronic. I can remember going to the GP  about it and pointing out my pain as being “in the dips either side of my spine” What I now know to the Sacroiliac joints. I didn’t get  much out of the GP, just about doing stretches, Pilates, take paracetomol and ibuprofen.  And so that's what I did. I just got on with it for a year or two. Deciding that I must be one of the people that has a bad back.

Paul and I moved to our rented cottage on a  farm  half way between his work and my college in 2002, with  my then yearling Gyspy Cob. And we bought a pony as a companion for him. We got married in 2004. Whilst there I completed my degree. I also realised my dream of becoming an Equine Vet nurse might be unfeasible with a bad back. I started looking for a trainee small animal vet nurse job, which were few and far between.  So whilst waiting, I worked at a chemists as a dispenser. I can’t remember having much of a bad back, though at the same time I was undergoing investigations and treatment for endometriosis.  So I was having a lot of pelvic pain, I think my back pain and endometrioses all got a bit mixed up during that time. I had  an operation for the Endo in 2005 and resolved that issue.

So I think in answer to my question "When did I not have back pain?" the reply is 2000. When I was 18. I am now 32.