I was going to write this before I had my operation on the 3rd November 2015. It was going to be about how hard my year had been, about how non-understanding people had been of me. About how tired and bitter I had become, but to be quite honest, I couldn't  face writing all that, I don't think there was any need to either. 

I've waited, hoping my thoughts would organise themselves and inspiration arrive to help me explain how I have felt this year  about my pain & hips. I think now, 7 weeks later , it has. so I'll start writing and see how it goes. 

Before, and between my ops , People see me walking about, driving, working, riding my horse, and think I am ok. What they don’t see is the chronic pain I have suffered for 8 years, in my back and my hips. They don’t see my pain score.  If  I wore it on my head as a  bright flashing light, then for the last 8 years, 70% of the time it would have said between 6 & 8 out of 10.  Which is pretty high. It’s the score where, if you are in hospital and they ask you to score your pain out of 10. 1 being no pain at all, 10 being the worst pain you’ve ever had. If you say 6,7,8, they will give you something like codeine or even morphine. Yet there I was, walking round with a pain score of 6-8, carrying out my life like a “normal person” Yet it wasn’t normal. Nothing about life in chronic pain is normal. I say I had those high scores "only" 70% of the time. That is because in the last two years, since I had my right hip fixed,  I have had some good days, some really good days, 30% of the last 2 years has been good. Which makes for some desperately needed relief from being 100% in the pain scores of 6-8.

Over the last few years, I have worked, I have driven, I have ridden my horse, I have done the garden, I have done the decorating, I have done the house work, the list goes on. I have done the things that normal people do. But it has hurt, every step of the way. My husband said something to me last week. He said that if I hadn’t have found out what was wrong with my hips, I could quite easily be disabled by now, unable to work. 

It really brought home to me that that was the truth. He'd never said it before, perhaps knowing that I thought it myself. But perhaps saying it earlier would have made it a reality. It was the truth, that's really how desperate things were. I can remember about 4 years ago, when I didn’t know all of this hip and back pain was due to my hips. I actually thought that I would end up in a wheel chair by the time I am 40. That is what I was truly coming to terms with in my head. It seemed no one could help me. No spinal doctors, back injections, pain clinics, chiropractors or osteopaths could solve this for me, I was accepting that I was just one of the people that had back pain. I just had to get on with it. I wonder if doctors know what goes on in someone's head when they basically say, "youre with  a high percentage of the adult population that has back pain. Live with it."  Like its normal to be in that much pain and "live with it". 

So I decided I would do all I could between now and the time I could no longer, despite the pain. So I rode my horse, in pain. I lived my life, in pain. Because what was the alternative? Sit around being miserable; mourning for things I thought I could no longer do? I decided I would haul myself through each day, and haul myself into the saddle and ride, for as long as pain would allow me too.  I decided I’d need to do all I could do to help my body through it, and thought I would benefit from some regular massage. So I went to a massage lady at our local gym. It was nice, very relaxing. But I think my tight muscles freaked her out.  She said she thought I could do with sport physio, and that another customer had been to one near Bristol. “Blue” something, she couldn’t remember the name. So I came home and Googled it. And that is how I  found Bluesky sports physio, and a wonderful lady called Donna who said she thought a lot of my  pain was actually due to impingement in my hips.

 And there have we come full circle. The story from that point on is in this blog. And I sit here now, on the 23^rd December 2015 with two hips which have matching 12inch scars from where they have been  opened up, dislocated, reshaped, and stuck back together with metal anchors and 3 screws each.....

....And I have hope at last. I have hope that the years to come will not be full of chronic pain. That my average pain score will not be 6,7,or 8. That I will be able to work, drive, ride my horse, do the garden and just live without the millstone of pain and depression around my neck.

 I even have new plans. I plan to walk up a mountain in aid of a Cerebral Palsy charity that helps my nephew.  My wonderful nephew. He is 12. He has cerebral palsy. He cannot walk, talk or feed himself and yet his smile and personality light up the room when he is there. He is determined through everything he does to make the most of what life has given him. He is my inspiration, and I can only dream of  being as strong and confident as him. I don’t know what the future is for my hips. Maybe I will get better from this recent surgery and never think about them again. Maybe the pain will return in months or years time and I will need hip replacements. Then again, maybe I won’t. But I have made a promise to myself, to make the most of what I have, and do as much as I can, whilst I still can. 

6 week post op physio session.

The day after my 6 week check with the surgeon, I had my next session with my physio, she was pleased to see me fully weight baring and I even did a no-crutch penguin waddle to see what I could do.  At 6 weeks post op with my other hip, if I'd tried to walk without crutches, I would have fallen over!! So I am already ahead of that. She showed me a couple of extra exercises I could do: 1) lieing on my front,bending heel to bum and then lifting the knee off the bed, as a quad stretch. 2) lie on back, knees bent, slide heel up and down away from/towards bum. 3) on back still , slide whole leg outwards

From hip  and back in 4) standing holding back of chair, move leg outwards/sidewards and back 

She then did some work on my lower back as I told her how stiff and painful it was. When she looked/felt my lower back, it was obviously in spasm, no wonder it hurt so much! So she did my usual back treatment:acupuncture, mobilising of the vertebrae and facet joints and then massage. She said we need to make sure we look after my back throughout this rehab and try to ensure it does not go into full spasm. But she is still convinced my back will get , get the long term now my hips are fixed. 

6 weeks post (2nd) Op

16th December 2015 

The last week of the 6 week post op period of minimal weight baring and other restrictions has been the hardest. I felt pretty bouncy and positive up till then but all of a sudden, my right leg started to play up and I was finding it hard to get around, as my right leg would just feel so tired that I had to sit down before I fell down! I was also pretty tired and achey all over. Sleep wasnt great. I'd found that I could lie on my non-op side with a pillow between my legs to support the op leg. But I think that just aggravated my right hip in the screw area and made it bit sore and swollen. I could also sleep on my front but whilst this was comfortable for my hips, it was no good for my back as it just made my lower back achey and tense. So I was finding that what ever position I went to sleep in, I'd wake 2 or 3 hrs later from the pain of either pressure on my right hip or tenseness in my lower back. I tried sleeping on my back again but would usually end up not getting off to sleep until 2/3am. 

Despite the overall achiness, especially in my right leg, my left leg continued to be surprisingly good. Not much pain from it, and  not the constant gnawing groin pain I had from my right leg at this same point. 

Tuesday 15th December saw me down in Truro for my post op check. I had an X-ray taken and then saw my surgeon. He has really pleased, he said he could hardly see the fracture line in my trochanter and that I had healed really well. He said I could start putting my full weight through it from that moment, carry on using 2 crutches for two weeks, then down to one crutch until I could walk without wobbling from side to side.   All restrictions were lifted, I could do whatever ever I wanted, even horse riding, yoga and swimming from 8 weeks, but to listen to my body and stop if it hurts. 

In reality this means that from eight weeks, horse riding will be just see if I can get on amd walk round. Swimming will by strengthening exercises in a hydrotherapy pool . I don't think I'll be going to yoga class until I have got rid of the last crutch. But I can do some of the gentle poses at home

  

I asked him about my right hip, mentioning that it had been a bit grumpy the last week or so with some swelling at the bottom of the scar. He thought it would benefit from having the screws taken out but that he could do it the same time as taking screws out of left hip next year. Then he looked a bit closer at the X-ray and said he could see some inflammation/bone spur but that had grown in that hip since surgery  but that it wasn't causing impingement. 

We decided I'd come and see him in April for another X-ray/review. 

I started weight baring as soon as I left his room and it felt OK, my right leg deffinatly appreciated having the pressure taken off. 

My left hip on 15th December, 6 weeks post op. The screws look to be a different angle to my right hip. I wonder if this will mean I won't ongoing discomfort  from them like I do from the right?

My right hip at 2 years 2weeks post op. I have circled the area of inflammation/bone spur that my surgeon pointed out, this has grown since March 2014. The technical term for it is Heterogenic Ossification. I googled it last night and freaked my self out, it seems in the USA, many people that have hip surgery are put on long term anti inflammatories or have one-dose of radiation to prevent HO developing. We don't get that in the UK.  HO can cause impingement depending on location, can irritate surround tissues causing pain and can even break off and lodge somewhere causing pain. So I have decided to try and forget about it as all the scenarios could equally not happen. The X-ray in April will show of it has changed,nor if HO has formed in my left hip. Fingers crossed it won't. 

Four Weeks Post OP

1st December 2015

Today  I am four weeks postop for surgery on my left hip, which coincides with bieng two years post up for the same surgery on my right hip. The  Difference I feel between the two surgeries is quite remarkable. I am not sure if it is because my right leg is now a strong leg to stand on or because I haven't had my IT band released or because I have just had less of the labrum removed or perhaps it's a combination of all these things as well as knowing I'm finally over it.....I've done my two surgeries. Fingers crossed I will require no more and can get on with life. 

I had staples this time, 30 altogether these came out at 14 days postop and all was well with the wound.  It doesn't look as pretty as the other side did, which was sealed with glue, but apparently the staple marks will fade so I will just have matching hip scars. My husband thinks I should be proud of them. 

Pain relief wise, I have had a number of days where I have taken no pain relief at all, and if I have, it has been paracetomol with occasional codiene

The swelling has reduced greatly and is really just limited to the trochanter area. I've had little to no groin pain. My right hip had been really strong for the last three weeks I've been so pleased with how it  had been holding me up, going around on crutches and only bearing 10% weight in my left leg is extremely tiring but I think it's tired now, and  I feel really quite tired achy all over. So I'm  taking a couple of sofa & codiene days.  just another two weeks to get through before seeing my surgeon for a post op check and an x-ray. Hopefully that will show that all is well and that the bone has knitted together where the screws are holding it. The protocol last time was another two weeks after that of using two crutches and fully weight-bearing on the left leg and then from eight weeks, I should be able to do what I want as long as my body allows me, whilst gradually weaning off the crutches,
 I know I can't do any yoga until 12 weeks which is disappointing but at least I start riding my horse a bit if I can, from 8 weeks, five minutes at a time so I can build up. I hope to be able to drive from 7 weeks, especially as I have a few jobs to do over Christmas ( I run a pet care company and have a few cat feeding jobs booked in for some loyal customers) I'm hoping to get back to work properly in January, although I do have someone covering dog walking customers until February. 

I think the hard work really starts when the initial six weeks is over. This six weeks is incredibly boring and I've not really got that much to say about it other than its just a daily treadmill getting up, doing my exercises, lying on the sofa, sitting in the chair,  watching TV, doing a jigsaw, playing scrabble! only getting up to go to the toilet or to the kitchen to get lunch or cups of tea in my flask which I then carry in my backpack back to the sofa. I've been out to the physio once, she was really pleased with how I'm doing she could see how much stronger I look than last time. That was at the 3 week post op point, and was just a check up really. To check my scar and how we are doing with the passive exercises. 


 I've been to see my horses once and that's it really, I'm trying to make the most of having a good rest trying not to do too much, and gather my energy for the real rehab soon to come. 

My wound at about 18 days post op. 

At 4 weeks post op, I'm quite pleased with it.

Seeing my horse, Charlie Brown at 3 weeks 

My day nurse, Pie

My day nurse, Pie